every story must have an ending

missing YOU so badly...

2010-10-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know why? but i still think of you
it's really driving me crazy..
it's been a month since we last talk
i have finally decided to say goodbye
i no longer communicate with you,i shut down my phone
no text, no calls not even emails
i thought i will no longer think of you
but i was wrong...
because i really,really,really, miss you
when i finally decided to let you go
i know i'm doing the right thing
but i didn't expect it will be this painful
it hurts me a lot and i can't do anything
i guess i just have to endure the pain
time heall all wounds...

I'LL be over YOU!

2010-09-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

i have finally said... GOODBYE!

there's no easy way to let go of something
i know will never happen again..
but i will face the world around me
strong enough to let you go..
i'm aware that you only come into my life for awhile,
and time will come... i have to give you up
then that's the end of it!
i cry for the times i thought i had you..
thank you..
for the love and the pain
the pain.. that i will always remember
one day, i can finally say i'm over you

It'S 2010

2010-05-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

it's already 2010
i haven't write for a very long time,
maybe because i have nothing new to share...
i haven't changed a bit, still in the shadow of the past
my mind, heart and everything still belongs to him ouch!
i have said goodbye a couple of times,
too many that i can no longer remember
i really can't believe it!
he has already move on with his life.. back to normal
maybe he no longer think of me, no longer miss me
we still communicate sometime through emails
and i can tell he's ok living his life with out me around
maybe i should do the same!
now is the right time to face the reality... that we will never be together
cruelty of life... cruelty of falling in love
at the wrong person, at the wrong time!

LoVe... my final words

2009-09-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

If I could ask the Lord for one thing,
before my time is gone
One prayer to be answered,
before I must move on
It would be to be loved by you,
be held close to your heart
To touch your life in a special way,
before we two must apart

LoVe...

2009-07-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

i’d do anything not to miss u…
but it’s my fate to love and not have u…
more than that not being able to get over u...

bye...LOVE!

2009-05-18T02:31:00.000-07:00

finally it ended...

thanks!

for letting me go...

I still miss you…
But not like I did before. The intense aching I felt, Isn’t there anymore.
I still whisper your name…
Not as often as I used to. Now it may be once, Before the day is through.
I still hear your voice…
Replaying in my mind. But it’s fading now, Soon silence I will find.
I still long for you…
To feel your touch. But it’s not like before, I don’t dream it as much.
I still think about you…
And wonder how you are. But my feelings have changed, And they don’t go as far.
I still feel you sometimes…
Maybe you’re thinking of me? Or maybe it’s just a little memory, Of how it used to be.
I still love you…
But it’s just not as strong. Because I’m letting you go now, So we can both move on.
You still have a piece of my heart..
Because I always felt you here. Now, I’m hoping and praying,That,
that too, will quickly disappear.
This will be my last goodbye...
I’ve nothing else to say.Everything I felt for you,Can now just fade away

love,
I guess I was wrong when I thought that were destined to be together, that you are my destiny. I know you will always love her and you will always be with her no matter what. She's your present and your future. Goodluck! I just wanna thank you for the time you spent with me, for lending an ear,for the advices you gave.You really help me a lot. TAKE CARE and GOD BLESS!

"Finally, I see that my happiness doesn't mean having you. My happiness comes from your happiness. And if you can be happy without me, then I can be happy without you."

I'M happy...

2009-02-26T22:56:00.000-08:00

I'M HAPPY....

Nothing beats the happiness i'm feeling right now and I know it's all because of you. I try to let you go, I try everything to ignore this feeling... I just can't. Having you around makes my day complete. You really make me happy,make me laugh . I was hoping it wouldn't end. But I know it will, cause I know I can't have you. You're not mine and will never be mine. Let's just say ....

Enjoy it while it last!

love,

i wish i could keep you forever....

maybe were destined to be together....

maybe you're my DESTINY...

maybe?

falling in LOVE...

2009-02-17T00:26:00.000-08:00

LOVE?

A four letter word but really hard to define. I fell in love once I thought it will never end,but I was wrong.It ended unexpectedly... it hurts a lot. At first I couldn't believe it,but i have to accept the fact that he's already gone. Memories still linger on my mind.The things we do.The places we've been.The moments of unending happiness... I thought I'll die when I decided to set him free,I almost did.It's been a year and a half now since we part ways. And I made it... I already move on, no not m0ving on but instead I step forward. Away from the memories of the past. I never knew after all what had happened LOVE would still come along.Yes, it did...
I'm falling in love the second time around. But I'm afraid.... afraid I might be falling in love with a wrong person. How could I possibly fall in love with someone. I know I can never have. Someone who already belong to someone. Stupid I guess....
My friends once told me letting go is the answer. How can I let him go if he's all I ever wanted? Is it really destiny that brings us together? a playful destiny.I don't know what to do...
Sometimes I don't wanna think about it. As long as I'm happy having him around. I don't care what happens next. I don't even care what the future brings.But I'm scared... scared that one day when I wake up he's gone, because I knew all along he's not mine,and will never be mine. HOPELESS...

A Prayer...

2009-02-16T01:39:00.000-08:00

I couldn't sleep...

I don't know why I couldn't sleep.It seems like I'm too tired but I couldn't find a way to fall a sleep.I was thinking of something I really don't know.Something is bothering me and yet I don't know what it is? It's a weird feeling... A strange one.How can I be bothered by something I don't know? I never felt this way before and I couldn't get it why I'm feeling it right now.It's like a heavy burden inside my mind,a thousand heartaches.That I needed to cry on to surpass this feeling.I keep my eyes closed,then I started praying...
Holy Spirit; thou who make see everything and show me the way to reach my ideal.You who give me the divine gift to forgive and forget the wrong that is done to me and who are in all instances of my life with me.I, in this short prayer want to thank you for everything and confirm once more that I never want to be seperated from you no matter how great the material desires may be.I want to be with you and my loved ones in your perpetual glory Amen..

I still believe I can only find the peace of mind I've been longing with him and through him.

the PAST....

2009-02-04T23:07:00.000-08:00

I was looking on my old stuff when an old card catches my attention.It was dated september 22'06 actually it was my birthday.But it wasn't a birthday card as I open it and took a glance on it. I knew it was from someone I've shared my past with.Maybe someone i used to love.As I was reading it word by word I suddenly felt sad and dissapointed. In an instant I felt the pain of the past once again.It really hurts.....ouch!
The card says:
Enough to do anything for you- give my life,my love,my heart and my soul to you and for you.
Enough to willingly give all of my time,efforts, thoughts,talents,trust and my prayers to you.
Enough to want to protect you,care for you,guide you,hold you,comfort you,listen to you and cry to you and with you.
Enough to be completely comfortable with you,act silly around you,never have to hide anything from you and be myself with you.
Enough to share all of my sentiments,dreams,goals,fears, hopes,and worries- my entire life with you.
Enough to want the best for you,to wish for your successes, and
to hope for the fulfillment of all your endeavors.
Enough to keep my promises to you and pledge my loyalty and faithfullness to you.
Enough to cherished your friendship,adore your personality,respect your values,and see for who you are.
Enough to fight for you,compromise for you,and sacrifice myself for you if need be.
Enough to miss you incredibly when were apart,no matter what length of time it's for and regardless of the distance
Enough to believe in our relationship,to stand by it through the worst of times,to have faith in our strength as a couple,and to never give up on us.
Enough to spend the rest of my life with you,be there for you when you need or want me, and never,ever want to leave you or live with out you.
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH...
Now i know those lines are just lies.I shouldn't believe you.You're a part of my past now and I will never, ever look back....

for you mama....

2009-02-03T00:32:00.000-08:00

I came to the world and you were there to do everything for me.I learned to let go of your hand when I took my first step,but I knew you still held me in your heart.Thank you for having a heart so full of love that you were willing to share it with me.Eventhough I grew up far away from you I know that every day of your life you always think of me.I really don't know how to express my feelings towards you.I really don't know what to say....

There are many things I wish I'd said to you as I was growing up and some things I wish I hadn't done.I know now that I missed many opportunities to say "Thank you", "I love you"...

I love you, MAMA.You gave me life, a chance to grow up and be whatever I could be.To me there's no one like you, and I'm so thankful you're my mother......

I just hope it wasn't too late for the two of us to be together again. I missed your warmth embrace that makes me feel so secure.I really ,really missed you....

I know I may not have shown it as often as I should have,but the things you have done has meant more to me than anything ever has.I wonder if the words ...."thank you" and "I love you" could possibly say all that I feel for you?

to my SoUl MaTe...

2009-01-29T06:02:00.000-08:00

Somehow, out of all the twist and turns our lives could have taken,and out of all the chances we might have missed,it almost seems like we were given a meant-to-be-moment-to meet,to get to know each other,and to set the stage for a special togetherness.When I'am with you,I know that I'am in the presence of someone who makes my life more complete than I ever dreamed it could be.I turn to you for trust,and you give it openly.I look to you for inspiration,for answer,and for encouragement,and-not only do you never let me down-you lift my spirits up and take my thoughts to places where my troubles seem so much further away and my joys feel like they're going to stay in my life forever...I hope you'll stay forever, too.I feel like you're my soulmate.And I want you to know that my world is reassured by you,my tomorrows need to have you near,so many of my smiles depend on you,and my heart is so thankful that you're here.

I dOn'T CaRe!

2009-01-28T19:48:00.000-08:00

I don’t care about women who tell a lie
I don’t care about their promise that flies
I don’t care about rules that bend
I don’t care about death at the end
I don’t care if she has promised you life
I don’t care if you believe her all your life
I don’t care if you have doubts in your heart
I don’t care if you don’t love me from the start
I don’t care if I die just for you
Just to make you feel my love is true
I don’t care if I live through hell
Just to give you heaven to tell
I don’t care if I’d live through the rain
Just to keep your love away from vain
I don’t care about anything in my life
Cause your the one I consider life
I don’t care who ever I’ll fight
Just to win you, be with you from morning till night
But now I do believe I care, I care for you
Cause I LOVE YOU I really do….

2009-01-28T04:19:00.000-08:00

IF I COULD

If i could turn and walk away
And start all over again
I can forget i ever knew you
I could live in a world of pretend
But everytime i open my eyes
It's back to reality
Things i've tried to forget
Are back again with me
I could go through life
Never saying your name
I could live each day
Looking for a place to lay the blame
I could feel bitter
For the way things turn out
But i choose not to be
Thats not what i'm about
I could forever long for you
And this i'll probably do
If only i could've touched your face
Atleast one dream would've come true
I could say i hate you
But it would be a lie
I could wish i never met you
So i never had a sad goodbye
But no matter the tears
The heartaches i feel inside
I still can't regret knowing you
My feelings i've never denied

LOVE FORGIVES,HEART FORGETS

I prefer to live in a world

Of dreams and fantacies
Than reality that always
Causes me pains and sufferings...
I've gone through midst of roses
But all I got were wounds and bruises;
Really, those thorns hurt me
Oh my! when will I ever learn
Am i born loser?
Why it always has to be me?
Iloveyou, thats all I know
Don't you think I deserve more...
Iloveyou even you've hurt me
Iloveyou even you're hurting me
Iloveyou even you're going to hurt me
Remember "Love forgives, Heart forgets"

FoReVeR

2009-01-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

I made this video few months ago for someone very special. Eventhough were no longer in good terms. I want to remember him each passing day."I will never forget you... I'll treasure those days that we had.Those crazy days over the phone.Talking,laughing,sharing each others experience. Thank you for making me happy... For making me feel so special.For always being there ready to listen,ready to lend a hand. You've been there during my hardest time...thank you very much.I just hope when our paths crossed again you'll still remember me. I'll keep you in my heart FOREVER....

EVERYTHING HAS A PURPOSE AND OUR MEETING HAS ITS OWN JUST LET FATE CREATES ITS OWN WAY

This day is the last day I’ll be wishing for you, the last time I shall cry and the last moment I shall hurt myself .One day when I see you, I’ll just whisper “It’s enough I love you too much”... Someday I’ll come and think about you again. For now I’m going to leave and set aside the thoughts of you for I can’t bear to see myself loving you so much knowing the fact that you can’t love me.

LOVE is....

2009-01-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

LOVE is being happy for the other person when they are happy,being sad for the person when they are sad;being together in good times,and being together in bad times.LOVE is the source of strength...

LOVE is being honest with your self at all times,being honest with the other person at all times;telling,listening,respecting the truth and never pretending.LOVE is the source of reality...

LOVE is an understanding that is so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person;accepting the other person just the way they are and not trying to change them to be something else.LOVE is the source of unity...

LOVE is the freedom to pursue your own desires while sharing your experience with the other person;the growth of one individual alongside of and together with the growth of another individual.LOVE is the source of success...

LOVE is the excitement of planning things together,the excitement of doing things together. LOVE is the source of the future...

LOVE is the fury of the storm,the calm in the rainbow.LOVE is the source of passion...

LOVE is giving and taking in a daily situation,being patient with each others needs and desires. LOVE is the source of sharing...

LOVE is knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens;missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times. LOVE is the source of life...