I'M happy...

I'M HAPPY....

Nothing beats the happiness i'm feeling right now and I know it's all because of you. I try to let you go, I try everything to ignore this feeling... I just can't. Having you around makes my day complete. You really make me happy,make me laugh . I was hoping it wouldn't end. But I know it will, cause I know I can't have you. You're not mine and will never be mine. Let's just say ....

Enjoy it while it last!

love,

i wish i could keep you forever....

maybe were destined to be together....

maybe you're my DESTINY...

maybe?

falling in LOVE...

LOVE?

A four letter word but really hard to define. I fell in love once I thought it will never end,but I was wrong.It ended unexpectedly... it hurts a lot. At first I couldn't believe it,but i have to accept the fact that he's already gone. Memories still linger on my mind.The things we do.The places we've been.The moments of unending happiness... I thought I'll die when I decided to set him free,I almost did.It's been a year and a half now since we part ways. And I made it... I already move on, no not m0ving on but instead I step forward. Away from the memories of the past. I never knew after all what had happened LOVE would still come along.Yes, it did...
I'm falling in love the second time around. But I'm afraid.... afraid I might be falling in love with a wrong person. How could I possibly fall in love with someone. I know I can never have. Someone who already belong to someone. Stupid I guess....
My friends once told me letting go is the answer. How can I let him go if he's all I ever wanted? Is it really destiny that brings us together? a playful destiny.I don't know what to do...
Sometimes I don't wanna think about it. As long as I'm happy having him around. I don't care what happens next. I don't even care what the future brings.But I'm scared... scared that one day when I wake up he's gone, because I knew all along he's not mine,and will never be mine. HOPELESS...

A Prayer...

I couldn't sleep...

I don't know why I couldn't sleep.It seems like I'm too tired but I couldn't find a way to fall a sleep.I was thinking of something I really don't know.Something is bothering me and yet I don't know what it is? It's a weird feeling... A strange one.How can I be bothered by something I don't know? I never felt this way before and I couldn't get it why I'm feeling it right now.It's like a heavy burden inside my mind,a thousand heartaches.That I needed to cry on to surpass this feeling.I keep my eyes closed,then I started praying...
Holy Spirit; thou who make see everything and show me the way to reach my ideal.You who give me the divine gift to forgive and forget the wrong that is done to me and who are in all instances of my life with me.I, in this short prayer want to thank you for everything and confirm once more that I never want to be seperated from you no matter how great the material desires may be.I want to be with you and my loved ones in your perpetual glory Amen..

I still believe I can only find the peace of mind I've been longing with him and through him.

the PAST....

I was looking on my old stuff when an old card catches my attention.It was dated september 22'06 actually it was my birthday.But it wasn't a birthday card as I open it and took a glance on it. I knew it was from someone I've shared my past with.Maybe someone i used to love.As I was reading it word by word I suddenly felt sad and dissapointed. In an instant I felt the pain of the past once again.It really hurts.....ouch!
The card says:
Enough to do anything for you- give my life,my love,my heart and my soul to you and for you.
Enough to willingly give all of my time,efforts, thoughts,talents,trust and my prayers to you.
Enough to want to protect you,care for you,guide you,hold you,comfort you,listen to you and cry to you and with you.
Enough to be completely comfortable with you,act silly around you,never have to hide anything from you and be myself with you.
Enough to share all of my sentiments,dreams,goals,fears, hopes,and worries- my entire life with you.
Enough to want the best for you,to wish for your successes, and
to hope for the fulfillment of all your endeavors.
Enough to keep my promises to you and pledge my loyalty and faithfullness to you.
Enough to cherished your friendship,adore your personality,respect your values,and see for who you are.
Enough to fight for you,compromise for you,and sacrifice myself for you if need be.
Enough to miss you incredibly when were apart,no matter what length of time it's for and regardless of the distance
Enough to believe in our relationship,to stand by it through the worst of times,to have faith in our strength as a couple,and to never give up on us.
Enough to spend the rest of my life with you,be there for you when you need or want me, and never,ever want to leave you or live with out you.
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH...
Now i know those lines are just lies.I shouldn't believe you.You're a part of my past now and I will never, ever look back....

for you mama....

I came to the world and you were there to do everything for me.I learned to let go of your hand when I took my first step,but I knew you still held me in your heart.Thank you for having a heart so full of love that you were willing to share it with me.Eventhough I grew up far away from you I know that every day of your life you always think of me.I really don't know how to express my feelings towards you.I really don't know what to say....

There are many things I wish I'd said to you as I was growing up and some things I wish I hadn't done.I know now that I missed many opportunities to say "Thank you", "I love you"...

I love you, MAMA.You gave me life, a chance to grow up and be whatever I could be.To me there's no one like you, and I'm so thankful you're my mother......

I just hope it wasn't too late for the two of us to be together again. I missed your warmth embrace that makes me feel so secure.I really ,really missed you....

I know I may not have shown it as often as I should have,but the things you have done has meant more to me than anything ever has.I wonder if the words ...."thank you" and "I love you" could possibly say all that I feel for you?